I remember a conversation my husband and I had a few years ago about the best years of our lives. We were driving back from Huntsville to our first apartment and talking about all of our hopes and dreams for the future. We were in a very happy place in our marriage and felt very blessed with opportunities in college. Something was said along the lines of “it’s such a shame that you don’t know you're in the best years of your life are until they are over.” Although it seemed prophetic at the time, I no longer believe it to be true.
This morning I was sitting on the floor of my son’s nursery listening to him happily babble as he played with his toys. I noticed the morning sun streaming through his windows and I could see trees swaying in the summer breeze outside. In these little moments, I feel more contentment and peace than I ever have before. The past nine months with Noah have been the happiest of my life, and I feel certain that I am in the best years of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some wonderful seasons of life. I had a wonderful childhood with plenty of brothers, five to be exact, to keep me entertained. I love looking back on pictures of when they were little and I spent my days pretending to be their second Mom. I also have fond memories of being newlyweds. I am forever grateful for our impromptu road trips and weekly date nights that strengthened our relationship. However, this season with young children is my favorite, and I know that it always will be. I have a hard time explaining how fulfilled I am by being a Mom to our precious son Noah. Something just clicked when he was born, and I felt complete in a way that I never had before.
I truly feel like I was made to be his Mom. However, I would never want to give a false portrayal of my life so I need to put in a disclaimer after that statement. I have times (like every other mother) where I worry that I am failing him and feel completely inadequate. A recent example was when I let the monitor battery die overnight and woke up the next morning alarmingly well rested. I also have times where I feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the added responsibilities that come with the territory (Sunday mornings come to mind). Nevertheless, even in the midst of the chaos, I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything.
I think one of the reasons that I value this time so deeply is because I already know how quickly it passes. During the late nights and blow outs I eagerly remind myself that it’s just a phase. But more often than not, when he falls asleep in my lap at the pool or flashes me a grin full of avocado, I wish I could soak it up a little longer. Tonight as I watch him sleeping peacefully on the monitor (it's charged this time), I’m thankful that I was wrong before about the best years of my life. There is something so very sweet about knowing that they are happening right now.